This morning was a swimmer's 50th birthday so our set was 50 x 50. Fun :)

2750 Swim Practice @ 01:00:00

Jon is currently "spring cleaning" her body and has given up caffeine, sugar, processed foods and alcohol. Unfortunately, that just means more suffering for us as she was even more energized :(

Core @ 00:30:00

I was looking forward to a light afternoon and getting in a lift before Happy Hour plans but no good deed goes unpunished in the world of web. I made a couple of quick updates to try to save a developer the time but ended up mangling a page a bit by pushing the wrong code and ended up frantically trying to fix it far too late into the afternoon :( So no lift but I did make it to the very tail end of Happy Hour and the cosmos that was waiting for me (thanks Jen!).

I am also really beginning to feel internally escalated about my trip and while I appear fully functional on the outside, too often I am fighting back a flood of tears during the most innocuous moments of the day. I found a really good article by an adoptee who wrote about her experiences going back to her birth country. While she had many good points, the last really spoke to me. I am finding myself not telling people about my history when mentioning my upcoming trip because I just don't want to deal with their excitement/expectations about it. I know people mean well but I have been searching for years for my birth family and found nothing and I know that simply going there will not offer me any more answers. This first trip is just to see how I feel when both feet are back on the ground there. I want to be immersed in the sounds/smells and see if I feel anything. I have no illusions that I will remember a thing but I wonder how being there will shape my dreams.

Just trying to breathe right now...