WARNING: The contents of this post may contain coarse language and describe scenes not appropriate for anyone who has signed up for IM Canada or is thinking about signing up for IM Canada without either a triple, compact, electric or mental assist.

This morning, Ruth went out and brought us back some Starbucks and we had a nice breakfast at the hotel. Our directive was to ride the Ironman Canada course two days after racing the Desert Half Iron. Note how this was a directive, not an idea either Ruth or I had but for some reason, we decided to follow it...

We were on the bikes by 7:30 AM and had a lovely ride to Osoyoos boosted by a delightful tail wind and very pleasant temperatures. Then we made the mistake of turning right up "The Richter". There the wind turned and stayed firmly in our faces for the remainder of the ride accompanied by an unrelenting sun and only the occasional faintest tissue whisper of clouds.

This descent down "TR" was much better than the race because I left the Zipp wheels in the hotel room. I was okay with the slow grind -- both up and down and did a lot of self-talk throughout the descents. Ruth dropped me pretty quickly happily flying down any descents. She did make the mistake though of turning around to check on me and that unfortunately, is a trigger for me and my tude completely dropped. I was back on the race course that had kicked my ass so badly two days ago -- and it was doing so again and I was not a gracious cycling companion nor a nice girlfriend. This was not helped by the wicked headwind we were grinding through and the fact that I did not get enough to drink.

We turned into the first fruit stand in Cawston and refilled on water. By that point, I was really out of it and just sat there ignoring Ruth telling me to eat something. I finally did eat a PB & J and we also split a pint of cherries. I then gave Ruth the half of my powerbar that I had not eaten because I had another one in my bento bag. I did re-adjust my tude and decided that I probably would not leave Ruth, Triathlons or Seattle anytime soon to escape to a life that did not include riding Ironman courses during a "vacation".

From that point on, I pretty much had the worst GD F^%$&*ing ride of my life. Ever. The headwind and temperatures were unrelenting and no incline or descent was unaccompanied by varying degrees of headwinds. At one point we were climbing up to Yellow Lake at an 8% grade and were pummeled by a headwind the entire time. My HR hit 163 and the expletives we both let loose did nothing to help us up the hills. And the descents were not much better -- at one point we were "descending" a -2% grade and could not get our speed past 13 mph. Both of us agreed that this was the very very very worst idea Cheryl has ever had and took her name in vain more than once...

We finally limped back into town and I was losing it again. I had not eaten since the fruit stand (I just CAN'T in this heat) but did drink almost another bottle of Nuun.

We hit the hotel room, changed into swim suits and then jumped into the pool. For some reason, I got super chilled in the pool and my teeth started chattering and I could not think right... But I got out, wrapped in towels and drank some sweetened iced tea and got back to normal.

97 Mile Ride @ 07:00:00
Attitude = D-
Nutrition = D-