I am IRON, hear me....fart

This is my last Ironman Race report before I head off to my Ironman-free sabbatical -- formally known as retirement but adjusted since my friends and coach have called "BS" on my plan to retire completely. If anyone is counting, this is Ironman #3 in 366 days...

We set the alarm for 4:15 AM and had our usual coffee/bagel and last moment preparations before heading out to the course start on a dark and cloudy but not terribly cold morning.

We did not get there early enough to score a decent parking place so we ended up hiking to the start with a lot of our stuff, including the entire water supply of Summerland that Ruth was carrying in her gazillion water bottles. Unfortunately, the body-marking stations were not set up as efficiently as last year and there were fairly long lines to get our numbers written on us but we made it in on time to visit our transition bags and get everything ready.

Swim @ 1:20:48 (2:08 per 100 pace)
I found Ruth again at the start of the swim and was able to give her a final hug before we took off -- to the biggest swim start in Ironman history... Now that sounds really important and like an impressive thing but if you are one of the chum, it is not as much fun. Because I am not as fast as the fast female triathletes but faster than the slower women, I usually end up swimming with the slower men which means I was pretty much kicked, slapped and punched for the first bit of the swim and that encouraged me to position myself a bit further from the group, but also made for a longer swim.

Transition 1 @ 7:16
Had a good transition and left the tent feeling so light that I wondered if I had forgotten anything. I had not :)

Bike @ 7:26:34 (15.0 mph pace)
Got out on the course and the first 50 miles were GRAVY. Beautiful tailwind and the temperature was perfectly cool. Of course, I got dropped by everyone but my spirits were high and I was feeling good. The best part was running into our friend Joel a couple of times because he is just so sweet and encouraging. He helped me more than he knows out there. I remember passing the 50 mile marker and saying to myself "almost halfway done and feeling fresh as a G-D Daisy". Note how this includes "The Richtor" as I felt confident and powerful climbing it -- as well as descending it. No brakes!!!

And the other riders were okay too except for one of the guys who was in front of me who had apparently just learned how to pee on his bike. He slowed down and swerved all over the place and then swerved some more rinsing his $10,000 toilet off with his water bottle.

At every rest stop, I would slow down when approaching it and eat a bite of power bar (chopped into bite size pieces and then frozen the night before for easy access). Then I would ask for a water and sip from that until I hit the end of the aid station and throw out the 2/3 full bottle. I quickly switched to Gatorade and abandoned my Nuun because my body starting craving Gatorade right away. Plus it was not as much work.

Then the second half started and my hell began with headwinds and a back that refused to tolerate an aero position for one moment longer. The out and back to the special needs area was longer than it seemed as though it should be. I got off my bike then to use the bathroom and re-apply butt butter and ate some potatoes. I was still strong climbing Yellow Lake (and passed many of my "pace peers" only to have them drop me again on the descents. I really need to get better at descending. I have so much to offer a descent (weight...) and waste it.

On my way back into town, I saw Cheryl and Jeff on my way into town and proudly announced that I ate 2 powerbars on the bike :) I was very very very anxious to get off my bike and it took a good few minutes before I could stand upright without a bent back after hurling it at the nice volunteers who racked it for us.

Transition 2 @ 5:58
Got to see Ann in the transition tent and wish her a good run before heading out. I changed into my red running shirt (favorite) and was excited to begin my run. I was planning to drop the many chicks who kicked my ass on the bike (and definitely caught up with some of them).

Run @ 5:06:25 (11:42 Pace)
I got to high-five Ruth's mom and Rolf on my way out and had a really good first half of the marathon holding a 10-11 pace. My plan was to walk the aid stations and alternate between gatorade and water/gel blocks. I got to see Cheryl and Jeff again on my way out and was feeling really terrific. I did appreciate the crowds but did want to get to a section without spectators because I was trying really hard not to fart in front of them. I thought to myself "I am Iron, hear me fart" and shared that with Cheryl when I passed her.

Got to see Ruth near the turn around and she looked strong and beautiful. She wished me a Happy Anniversary -- what a way to celebrate three years!

With about 10 miles left, I started to struggle with my nutrition and tried really really hard to eat the gels but ended up just spitting out the last two I ate. I did all sorts of self-talk but my body would not listen. The pain started in my back (higher than the pain from the bike). I promised myself that I would not have to eat any more gels and would take my nutrition from the aid stations. At about 10k left, I could not approach an aid station without having to struggle against the urge to hurl and did not eat/drink anything for the last 3 or so miles and ran it all on fumes.

Cheryl ran with me during a part of the second to last mile and I told her that I was not going to make my goal (14 hour finish) and she told me to not let my attitude deteriorate (too late...) because I yelled back at the next spectator who said "you did it" -- "No, I haven't yet" and that reflects my tude even though I stand behind original thought that it was a stupid thing to say to someone who has not yet crossed the finish line.

I finished over my goal, but a PR for me and 53 minutes faster than last year with a 14:06:59 and am pretty satisfied with my season. Ruth finished almost 1/2 an hour sooner (kick ASS for her first Ironman) and greeted me at the finish line. She told the volunteers that "she's with me" and took me to a chair.

Now off to my sabbatical -- I am thinking Water Aerobics!